How to spot a liar in online dating

25-Mar-2017 17:22

He copied and pasted the same email to many women waiting to see who would reply.

He bragged about his job, his possessions and how he would lavish the woman he wanted to marry.

Unlike in-person interactions, you can't rely on nonverbal cues such as micro-expressions of fear, sideways glances, or nervous fidgeting.

Though internet lie detection may seem to be a daunting task, it's not an impossible one.

There are, in fact, some similarities between those who lie online and IRL -- but there are differences, too.

University of Wisconsin-Madison professor Catalina Toma and Jeffrey Hancock of Cornell University scanned profiles from 78 online daters at four matchmaking websites, comparing the information and photos online to the daters' actual stats.

According to the Mirror, a recent survey claims a staggering amount of people lie on first dates.

37% of women lie about their age and 29% of men lie about their wage, for starters.

Keep in mind, this is a small sample size, though a lie-detection success rate of almost two-thirds is greater than that of the "untrained eye." Also keep in mind that nearly everybody lies, a little bit: About 80 percent of the daters lied to some extent, even if the lies were of a small magnitude.

The spoke to Tyler Cohen Wood, an intelligence officer at the Defense Intelligence Agency and author of* Catching the Catfishers: Disarm the Online Pretenders, Predators, and Perpetrators Who Are Out to Ruin Your Life* for her best tips on catching online liars. If you notice that he once said one thing ("I grew up in Massachusetts") but later says something contradictory ("My old house in Connecticut"), don't just brush it off. I know I always have to edit my posts here for tense consistency, and I swear I've never made up a story to tell you guys! But if you notice a pattern of these red flags or anything else that just sets off your suspicions, be on the lookout!

Here are a few of her red flags and suggestions that stood out to me: Emphatic language. Switching from past tense to present tense in the middle of telling a story can indicate that the person is making up the story. Look for phrases like "I'm pretty sure" or "I must have done…" that don't really say what happened, or phrases like "To be honest" or "There's nothing to worry about" that are potential red flags about the statement to follow. Cohen Wood recommends asking someone to hop on the phone or Skype quickly if you sense something is wrong.

When we were little kids growing up, we'd call out our friends if we found out they were fibbing and yell, "Liar, Liar, Pants on Fire." Our childhood game has followed many singles into adulthood, where the Internet is the easiest feeding ground for white lies, as well as big major lies.

The desire to fit into a search, or idealize who we want to be ends up in many online dating profiles and social networking sites. Do you want to date someone who has lied about their age, height, income, job, marital status and more?

Keep in mind, this is a small sample size, though a lie-detection success rate of almost two-thirds is greater than that of the "untrained eye." Also keep in mind that nearly everybody lies, a little bit: About 80 percent of the daters lied to some extent, even if the lies were of a small magnitude.

The spoke to Tyler Cohen Wood, an intelligence officer at the Defense Intelligence Agency and author of* Catching the Catfishers: Disarm the Online Pretenders, Predators, and Perpetrators Who Are Out to Ruin Your Life* for her best tips on catching online liars. If you notice that he once said one thing ("I grew up in Massachusetts") but later says something contradictory ("My old house in Connecticut"), don't just brush it off. I know I always have to edit my posts here for tense consistency, and I swear I've never made up a story to tell you guys! But if you notice a pattern of these red flags or anything else that just sets off your suspicions, be on the lookout!

Here are a few of her red flags and suggestions that stood out to me: Emphatic language. Switching from past tense to present tense in the middle of telling a story can indicate that the person is making up the story. Look for phrases like "I'm pretty sure" or "I must have done…" that don't really say what happened, or phrases like "To be honest" or "There's nothing to worry about" that are potential red flags about the statement to follow. Cohen Wood recommends asking someone to hop on the phone or Skype quickly if you sense something is wrong.

When we were little kids growing up, we'd call out our friends if we found out they were fibbing and yell, "Liar, Liar, Pants on Fire." Our childhood game has followed many singles into adulthood, where the Internet is the easiest feeding ground for white lies, as well as big major lies.

The desire to fit into a search, or idealize who we want to be ends up in many online dating profiles and social networking sites. Do you want to date someone who has lied about their age, height, income, job, marital status and more?

After all, we don't always want to admit the truth about ourselves to ourselves.