Funny quotes on dating and relationships

17-Jan-2017 11:57

And what better way to learn from others' happiness, or misery, than to hear it with a pinch of humor?

It’s OK to admit that you love sappy, cute love quotes. There’s a reason everyone still talks about “The Notebook” 13 years after it was released.

There have been several quotes on relationships that have been attributed to the Zimbabwean; most of them are not his but they are too hilarious to assume. Dear ladies, if your boyfriend did not wish you a happy Mother's Day or sing Sweet Mother for you, you should stop breastfeeding him.2. Stop talking about inner beauty because men do not walk around with X-ray machines to see inner beauty. Some women’s legs are like rumors, they just keep on spreading.4.

When you kiss a girl from another nationality, do it well because you represent the whole country5. Some men will use you, use your body, ruin your reputation and then marry a beautiful woman and get born again. Nothing makes a woman more confused than being in a relationship with a broke man who is extremely good in bed.7.

Love and relationships have always been a goldmine of material for comedians, so it’s not surprising that so many funny love quotes result from comics riffing on romance.

I have no notion of loving people by halves, it is not my nature.” —Jane Austen “Three things I want in a relationship: Eyes that won’t cry, lips that won’t lie, and love that won’t die.” —Wiz Khalifa “Never love anyone who treats you like you’re ordinary.” —Oscar Wilde “It’s the friends you can call up at 4 a.m.

From dating to marriage (and all of the relationship stages in between), here’s what 16 female comedians had to say about matters of the heart.

“My boyfriend and I live together, which means we don’t have sex — ever.

I’ve now twisted my personality into an emotional pretzel to accommodate your every need. I’d stepped in it a few times.” “My love life is like a piece of Swiss cheese; most of it’s missing, and what’s there stinks.” “I once gave my husband the silent treatment for an entire week, at the end of which he declared, ‘Hey, we’re getting along pretty great lately!

I want to know your idea of commitment versus my idea of commitment. '” “Obviously, if I was serious about having a relationship with someone long-term, the last people I would introduce him to would be my family.” “I think the thing to remember when you’re looking for true love is just keep your hopes up.

I have no notion of loving people by halves, it is not my nature.” —Jane Austen “Three things I want in a relationship: Eyes that won’t cry, lips that won’t lie, and love that won’t die.” —Wiz Khalifa “Never love anyone who treats you like you’re ordinary.” —Oscar Wilde “It’s the friends you can call up at 4 a.m.From dating to marriage (and all of the relationship stages in between), here’s what 16 female comedians had to say about matters of the heart.“My boyfriend and I live together, which means we don’t have sex — ever.I’ve now twisted my personality into an emotional pretzel to accommodate your every need. I’d stepped in it a few times.” “My love life is like a piece of Swiss cheese; most of it’s missing, and what’s there stinks.” “I once gave my husband the silent treatment for an entire week, at the end of which he declared, ‘Hey, we’re getting along pretty great lately!I want to know your idea of commitment versus my idea of commitment. '” “Obviously, if I was serious about having a relationship with someone long-term, the last people I would introduce him to would be my family.” “I think the thing to remember when you’re looking for true love is just keep your hopes up.Now that the milk is free, we’ve both become lactose intolerant.” “Women, we like to be romanced.